A LOOK AT LIFE-58

 A LOOK AT LIFE-58

BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

      MISTAKE OF A LIFE

I know not

how many minutes and hours,

days, months and years,

I have spent in meaningless pursuits,

in proving myself, in proving I am not at par

but head and shoulders above others.

I know not

how many times I turned my back

to truth and bliss.

How many times I failed to understand

love and it's beauty,

someone's tears, sacrifices, hours of waiting 

and longing for me.

I know

hardly I lived my life for me.

It was for those significant others

whom I valued the most,

in seeking their appreciation and recognition

who themselves achieved nothing,

lived the whole of their life in illusion,

in a pseudo world with pseudo greatness

and pseudo satisfaction

I lived a life

in acquiring pelf and power,

laurels and accolades,

adding to my inflated ego,

proving before others 

I am unique and different and don't belong 

to the same species to which others belong

My Lord!

How far away I am from me, 

from my life and it's beauty?

How futile is that life,

which is shaped and designed,

not by how one is, but

by how others view and assess it.

I achieved nothing.

What one achieves

by running away from his own,

family, friends and relations,

by alienating from the inner being,

forgetting life and its purpose,

playing all the while to the galleries?

If life means running away from oneself,

from truth and bliss.

If life is an endeavour in pursuit 

of appreciation and recognition,

in chasing a mirage 

which goes away farther and farther

Forgive me! My Lord 

I don't need one more.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©

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