A LOOK AT LIFE-113

 A LOOK AT LIFE-113

BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

   FROM NOTHING TO NOTHING

I know not

Why I sometimes feel

Life is pain infinite 

Searching for something none  existing 

An exercise futile 

A venture sad and pathetic 

I do not know 

Why sometimes I think

Life is a misadventure 

Never understood 

A foregone conclusion 

Accepted as a sad reality 

A journey in the void 

An endeavour wasted 

I know not

What lets me live

When I know I am living for nothing

With nothing to accomplish 

Why I am living in a relationship 

When all relationships are for some time

Either they will leave me 

Or I will leave them

Adding more sorrow and misery 

To an already miserable life.

Probably life is waiting for that dark night

After which there will be no sunshine 

I have seen them leaving me one by one

My father, my grandfather, 

My friends young and old and all

Who loved  me and whom I loved

They lived, endured and left 

With tears in eyes and desires unfulfilled 

Hopes shattered and dreams unrealised 

Behind their smile, I have seen their tears 

Apathy and frustration 

A life lived under the shadow of death.

I witnessed all these as a mute spectator

I often ask me

Is life a poignant tragedy 

I ask me

Am I living for that pathetic reality?

The great departure 

To leave the game when I am fully engrossed.

Life is less smile and more of tears 

Happiness is a little breather 

Where sorrow is one's, constant companion

Then why I am here

When nothing seems to be in my favour

Am I here

Is it because of some compulsion 

An accident or something else

I do not know

I do not understand 

Why so much suffering and planning in  the present 

For a future never in vision 

When one does not know

Whether there is any tomorrow 

I do not know

How I am rejoicing and 

Relishing the present 

Knowing well 

I am heading towards a dead end

Beyond which there is only darkness.

What is that life

Where death looms large

One does not know 

How and when it will come 

In the grip of death 

I strive for that nothing 

Which keeps me going 

Amidst grief and agony 

I breathe and live for nothing

I love and die for that nothing

Life is a journey from nothing to nothing 

I know not 

Why sometimes I feel

Life is God's blessing

Captivating and worth living 

I respect and adore it

Lose me in its spellbinding beauty

But sometimes I feel

If it is an accident and

I regret being here for nothing.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©